Weird, weird.

Growing up, I'd always heard that the four best years of my life would be the four years I spent in college -- the best parties, the best friends, the best classes, the best ideas. I have found most of that to be true, but the "friends" part has proved to be more elusive that I thought. It is not that I have not met truly amazing people in college, because it is in fact the truth that the people in my life now make it the amazing time that it is. The problem lies in the fact that friendships in college are not the permanent, steadfast relationships that high school ones were. Going back and forth between Marin and LA and now Paris, I am never in one place for more than a few months at a time. It proves to create an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach that unfortunately makes me feel permanently homesick, yet on the bright side, also permanently hopeful and stimulated. Feeling unsettled myself has made it hard for me to feel that I can develop lasting, deep relationships since my friends' and my physical locations are ever-changing. That feeling does not reflect reality, however, because the knowledge that I only have a limited amount of time to share with these amazing people in my life has made me eager to enjoy the time I do have with them and to appreciate the perks to our friendship, rather than become restless and dwell in the inevitable downsides. I also make more of an effort to stay in touch with these people once they do leave my side, making the relationship more one of effort and less of convenience. I just thought I would write about this topic today because it has been on my mind as I contemplate my departure for Paris. I am so thankful for the amazing summer I have had -- the good high school friends I was lucky enough to see during my short trip home, the girls who took care of me and who shared in all that a warm LA summer has to offer with me as my roommates, the wonderful friends I have made in LA during my time here, and the best friends I could ever have whom I will reunite with when I return home. I will have to say goodbye to all of these people in the next two weeks, however, and while that may have been a significantly scarier move two or three years ago, I am now comforted during this transition period knowing that these people will always be in my life, whether in memories, my photo albums, by running into them randomly in a few years, or in my life day-to-day when I return back from my trip. It is more up in the air than it ever was before college, but I feel that this flexibility leads to friendships being more genuine. I feel that I now connect with people in a way that will transcend time spent physically apart, as hard as that may be to grasp at first.
So, with bittersweet thoughts, I leave in less than weeks. I'll have to say goodbye to these wonderful people and hopefully have the maturity to realize that goodbye won't be for long.